on words and onwards

In partnership with

hey friends,

i’m growing

so

i’m hurting.

thank you

for healing

me,

-SN

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the stories

we have a (rare) double feature!

the first story is told in twenty-nine words that capture my creative state this week.

the second story is from the bottomless barrel of saplings and seeds of story ideas that i store in various hard drives and on softened sheets of paper. i wrote the original version around six months ago and edited it lightly this week.

here we go:

less good

earlier

an idea for a chapter

made my heart flutter

that’s the good part

the flutterings

of my heart’s wings

creaked like un-oiled springs

that’s the… less good part

—

precious and pierced

there are places in my memory

that have gone soft

that have become like

thick cotton clouds

obscuring and protecting

me

from

things

that my heart has been through

i woke up in layers—

the top note

contained lyrics

from a song that i’ve spent decades

trying to not know

because the songwriter

knew pain

all too well

and all pain

is universal

so the songwriter

knew my pain

better than i

allowed myself

to know it

so those lyrics playing

so fluently

as if my heart knew them by heart

disturbed me enough

to disturb my sleep

which led to a disturbing awakening

beneath that song layer lay

a cowered version of me

that my mind seems too cowardly

to reveal to me fully

but there’s a smoldering scene around her

and there are her concaved shoulders

curved over her vulnerability

caging in

something

precious and pierced

something

hurt

her

someone…

someone.

disturbingly awakened

i tried to approach her

but i felt like

i was encroaching

intruding

on her

and her

pained parts

because i realized

once wide-eyed

and fully recovered

from that dream

that felt like another’s nightmare

that i’m not her

not anymore

not mostly

and i’m free

of him.

so i’ll let her keep her despair

to herself

i’ll show myself

out of her space

that lives in me

and i’ll allow the soothing tufts of softness

in my memory’s skies

to block out

the splintered rays

of that other one’s desolate days

the conversation

the questions

what feels natural to you? what feels familiar to you? are the two the same for you? if ever, how often?

the curation

one of my most treasured memories is getting my copy of Strega Nona Meets Her Match signed by the late Tommy dePaola at Hicklebee’s, the bookshop that was THE bookshop of my childhood. i love that Grandma Witch’s aesthetic is making the trending rounds on all the platforms and that readers of all ages are finding ways to include Strega Nona’s spirit in their hearts and homes, especially during this cozy time of year.

moving from Grandma Witch to Royal Witches—History Tea Time with Lindsay Holiday features seven historical women who bore the label of “witch” and the brutal treatment that often came after the branding.

if you love a good foray into witchy history, you’re also probably a fan of dark academia with all its candlelit romps through cobwebbed libraries full of dusty tomes and whatnot. for those of us looking for wardrobe inspiration (and who among us isn’t? eh?), this article has us covered… perhaps in plush, velvet, blood-red cloaks with several secret pockets for hidden objects of enchantment and—oh, oh, oh! so NOW my brain wants to write a story! i see. got it. NOW that it’s already past midnight, and i still haven’t published this letter, and i’ve been stuck and stifled all week, and—

::the emoji with the mirthlessly smiling face melting into a puddle of “fml”::

the playlist

i added a couple of Halloween-y songs to our playlist, including Ghostbusters because this is the last newsletter of October, an occasion which calls for creepy tunes.

the readings

this list was curated for September speculative fiction (fantasy, sci-fi, and other otherworldly stories), but it contains short stories about “hungry monsters, murderous ravens, [and] dystopian futures,” so i think the recommendations are more apropos for spooky October.

this list features speculative fiction of new titles released in October, and there are still a few days left for you to add to your TBR list in the “frisky witches, deep-space adventures, monstrous quests, haunted houses, [and] fantastical missions” section.

this list is for those of us who love pumpkin spice in our mugs and ~spice~ spice in our books.

the community

if you could build your ideal bookish community, what would it be like?

i want to help build it for us. :)

the good stuff

to know me is to know that i consider myself a (very) long lost sister of the online and literary Brothers Green—John and Hank—as well as a devoted member of Nerdfighteria. last year, John enlisted the community that he and his brother have built over decades to compel Danaher—a company that produces diagnostic tests—to lower the cost of their cartridges used to detect tuberculosis.

this was a profoundly good thing accomplished by a motivated mass of good humans.

unfortunately, there has been a less good delay in meaningful action taken by Danaher since Nerdfighteria’s triumph. “Let’s give them a little more time,” is Hank’s suggested move for now, but let’s also keep our close attention on this space.

because around 1.5 million people die every year from tuberculosis, and every single action that we can take to ensure that a preventable, curable disease stops killing people matters. immensely.

John Green’s latest book is Everything is Tuberculosis, and signed copies are available for pre-order. i clicked to order mine before he finished saying the title.

we could see the end of this pestilence in our lifetime.

let’s go, good humans! :)

the affirmations

the scariest parts of yourself

can reveal both:

your strength to unearth them

and

your wisdom to keep them siloed

trust that you know

when to be strong

and when to be wise

omg, i love you for reading and listening and clicking and being you.

as ever, most gratefully,

-Sarah Narei