a vulnerable gift

hey friends,

you have no idea how much you mean to me.

but please know that you are deeply appreciated in unfathomable, gargantuan heaps. :)

-SN

the story

laugh

it was his laugh

it was the way that he laughed

at himself

after he recited the lines

from his favorite scene

verbatim

the way that he has recited them

every time he watched that horrible movie

since he was like ten-years-old or something

watching it with him…

watching him—

amused and proud and embarrassed—

goofy and vulnerable enough to be goofy

around her—

that’s the moment…

she knew:

she was in love with him

and it wasn’t that

“it was his laugh”

that made her fall in love with him

it was more so that his laugh

triggered a mental montage

of other laughs

and other lines recited

and other goofy memories

and other vulnerable parts

and other amusing horribles

and other embarrassing movies

and other moments

that made her

so proud of him

and proud of who she became

with him

he caught his breath

at the end of the scene

with an apology in his eyes

and with hope squinting at the corners

—sorry for being so awkward

—praying that she’s the type who thinks awkward can be kinda hot

she summoned an approving smile from somewhere

as she stifled the swelling wonder at it all

—omg she’s in love with him—

weird

wow

whoa

well now what?

well she cuddled closer to him

on the lumpy loveseat

and they watched the rest of the

horrible horrible horrible movie

(so horrible it was brilliant)

then they made out

and then they did more than that

and then she left

she wasn’t going to tell him!

obviously not yet

she could barely tell herself

still

as she pulled the covers over her head in her own bed

several hours later

she could no longer stifle

a laugh

the conversation

the questions

what are you afraid to tell yourself? why are you afraid of hearing those words from your own voice? what will your relationship with yourself be like after you tell yourself what you need to hear from yourself?

the curation

next Star Wars Day (May the 4th), Masterpiece will debut Miss Austen, a series about Jane’s less famous sister, Cassandra, who infamously burned the author’s letters to save the Austen family’s reputation.

should you find yourself in Chawton, England anytime soon, you could see first editions of (Jane) Austen’s masterpieces exhibited in the home that she shared with her mother—and yes, Cassandra—from 1809 until her death in 1817.

and since “Some of us can't get enough of Pride and Prejudice,” here is a list of a handful of reimaginings of Lizzy and Fitzwilliam.

the readings

here is a list of historical fiction published this year that features stories ranging from millennia ago to decades ago. my tbr list has just grown by two—The Household by Stacey Halls, based on true stories of a home set up by Charles Dickens for “fallen” women, and By Any Other Name by Jodi Picoult, which imagines an Elizabethan playwright who pays “an actor named William Shakespeare to front her work.”

the good stuff

part of my motivation for sending this newsletter to you (super late) friday nights is that i gift myself the full enjoyment of an episode of The Great British Baking Show on Netflix as a reward for finishing. the show has been my happy place for years, and every season makes me: 1. vow to become fluent in British humor; 2. swear to become a baking artisan worthy of a Paul Hollywood handshake; and 3. completely devoted to the entire cast’s future wellbeing and happiness. i don’t know how they find such incredible people to root for season after season, but they do. this year, an exceptionally wonderful human graced the tents, and this article rightly praises the glorious Nelly Ghaffar.

as i’m typing this, i have about fifty minutes left to meet my deadline before i get to watch this week’s episode—and it’s pâtisserie week for the semifinals! :)

the awe

the teaser trailer for Disney/Pixar’s Elio has come out, and it’s about a boy who gets abducted by aliens… and it also seems to be about what defines our humanity and the meaning of life and our place in the universe. so. existential crisis coming to theaters summer 2025! :)

the playlist

i wasn’t planning on adding any tracks to our playlist this week, but then i watched the Elio trailer and HAD TO add Such Great Heights by The Postal Service. and then i HAD TO add The District Sleeps Alone Tonight by The Postal Service. and then i HAD TO stop going down Give Up’s track list because the entire thing is just… MWAH!

the affirmation

trust that you have already earned your own trust

the archives

i know it’s a bit weird to reference something in the archives that happened so soon, but i’d like to take a moment to look back at where i was last week in the story of a treasured mess. i’m especially proud of the intentional omissions of some pieces in this week’s letter because the void that they created made room for other necessary pieces to exist.

i’m learning that sometimes messy voids are required for more peaceful existences.

really, like…

this is for you.

with all my heart,

-Sarah Narei

thumbnail photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash